Counselling NorthWest Meeting – 19th February 2014 – Presented by Jim Davis and report written by Alan Corbett.
Jim presented in a very relaxed and engaging manner, after giving us a brief résumé of his experiences and training he encouraged those who weren’t already to become couples counsellors.
He described the symbiotic patterns and the collusiveness that couples present with. Just then, were then rudely interrupted when the alarm exploded into action, not a pleasant experience. Contracting between the couple, discussing and agreeing an agenda were seen as a creative beginning to therapy, which indicated that communication was possible and that joint autonomy was achievable within the relationship, that the relationship was the ‘client’ and as therapists we should make ourselves aware of the unique ‘personality’ it displayed.
As a TA therapist Jim often worked from scripts, adapting them depending on the conditioning and learnt behaviour, which presented as excluded or suppressed.
One example of how this learnt behaviour translates into the creation of a ‘false self’ to please parents etc. Finding a partner who will ‘fit’ this pattern, as a false self often carries with it the archetypal ‘famous four’ of anger, fear, shame and guilt, it shouldn’t surprise us that relationships with this background will experience difficulties.
Different relational fits were described, and we were shown a clip from the excellent TV series ‘In Treatment’ which illustrated some aspects of this discussion.
I hope we can persuade Jim to present an extended version at some future date, perhaps as a workshop.
(Editor’s Note – please see Workshops & Training page)